It's the Zombie Apocalypse, Bitch!
by Cheating Death
Summary: It all started when Tobi decided to push the big red button. Now a convict with a schoolgirl fetish, a shy college student, a quiet businessman, a hot-tempered med student, and a few more random annoying people must band together to try to survive this oncoming zombie apocalypse. Hida/Hina, some Ita/Saku. Rated M for violence, swearing, suggestive humor, some smutty situations
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, here is my newest story! It's going to be a multi-chapter, but unlike my others, which are normally around 20 chapters or so, this is only going to be about five chapters long. It's supposed to poke fun at the possibility of a zombie apocalypse obviously. Rated M for suggestive humor, violence, swearing, blowing shit up, and some light smut (no lemons). **

_**It's the Zombie Apocalypse, Bitch!**_

**Chapter 1**

"OOOOOHHHH! WHAT DOES _THIS_ BUTTON DO!?"

"Tobi, don't!"

But it was too late. Tobi had already pressed the large, tempting red button that had been practically calling to him since he had set his eyes on it four seconds ago.

A redhaired man with several piercings gaped at him with horror, which was strange for him since he usually remained expressionless. "Do you realize what you've just done!?"

"Yes! I pushed the big red button!" Tobi announced proudly. "And I thought this job would be boring! No one told me about the big red buttons so that was a pleasant surprise!"

A blue-haired woman who stood by redhead gazed at the masked man with a look that matched her partner's. "What you just did will cause the end of the world as we know it! That's why that button said 'DO NOT TOUCH'! What were you thinking!?"

"Aww, relax. It can't be_ that_ bad. You make it sound as though I just unleashed some type of failed government experiment that will cause everyone to turn into zombies. That's what happened in the movie I watched the other night!" Tobi replied in an excited tone. "There was this guy that was accidentally set free and he was like a zombie! Anyway, he went into a city and bit some person, and then that person turned into a zombie, too! And then they both continued to bite people, and so on and so forth until most of the city was infected and turned into zombies! It was so crazy but awesome at the same time! It's a really good movie, you should both definitely watch it at my place this week. And I bought a cotton candy machine! So we can have cotton candy with our movie!" He paused for a moment to breathe, since he had been too excited to take in an adequate amount of air. "So...what did that button do anyway?"

Pein and Konan remained speechless, but exchanged worried glances with each other. Shit just got bad.

_In Tokyo_

"That'll teach you to steal from me! Motherfucker!" Hidan kicked the man on the floor, whom he'd just finished beating up. "I'll let you live this time, but if you ever pull any of that shit with me, I guarantee that you'll fucking regret it. You'll be wishing I killed you the first time. Got it?"

The man nodded vehemently, curled into a fetal position as he stared up at his attacker, absolutely petrified. He'd made the mistake of breaking into Hidan's house and attempting to steal several things. Unfortunately for him, Hidan had walked in right in the middle of the idiot's robbery. That hadn't sit well with him, and if he hadn't been on parole, Hidan would've murdered the little bastard.

"Now get the fuck out before I rip your eyes out and shove them down your throat," the silver-haired man growled, standing over him threateningly. "You've got three seconds. Go."

The thief scrambled to his feet, crying out in pain from the injuries he'd received. He stumbled out of the house, and headed towards his car, whimpering like a wuss. Hidan watched the dumbass drive away in a panic, a smug smirk on his face. He'd wished that he could've killed the guy, but he was really in no mood to go back to jail so soon.

"Stupid fuck," he muttered to himself.

Just as he was about to close the door, he heard an ear-shattering scream from down the street. Curious, Hidan followed the sound, wondering what the hell was going on. He turned the corner and saw a woman shrieking as she tried to pull away from a strange man. The man had grabbed onto her arm and sank his teeth into her, his movements clumsy and jerky. His skin was pale, and his eyes were vacant, but his hold on the woman was unrelenting as she desperately tried to break free. The woman's boyfriend punched the man in the face, sending him on his back.

"Are you okay?" he asked his girlfriend, and went to go check her arm.

However, before he could do anything, the woman suddenly stiffened, her eyes glazing over. She then lunged and bit him in the shoulder, causing him to yell and try to shove her away. The man who had started it all shakily got to his feet and began to shuffle over to another group of bystanders, managing to catch one person who'd frozen in fear.

"What the fuck...?" Hidan's voice trailed off as he watched with horror. "The hell is this shit?"

Right before his eyes, more people were bitten and infected with whatever the first man had been plagued with. Within the span of a minute or so, a half dozen people had been bitten, as the woman and her boyfriend had begun to attack others as well. It was like some crappy zombie movie, in Hidan's opinion. Even so, he did not want to be out there without some kind of protection. He headed back into his house to grab some supplies.

_University of Tokyo_

"So, Hinata...how about dinner tonight? My treat."

"Sorry, not tonight, Kiba. I have some work to finish."

"Awww, come on. You're already ahead of the rest of us. Take a break and have some fun for once."

The young woman looked over to her friend and smiled apologetically. "I promised to help Hanabi with her homework, and I want to tidy the house up for my father. He's been working a lot lately, so I at least want to have dinner ready for him when he gets home."

"Well, at least grab some ice cream with me or something," Kiba whined as they headed away from campus. "You need to get out more and learn to have fun."

Hinata sighed. "Alright, I'll go get ice cream with you. But after that, I really need to be heading home."

"Yeah, yeah. I know." Kiba slung an arm across his friend's shoulders, not realizing just how uncomfortable it made her as they continued on.

Hinata was about to ask him to stop it when they heard screaming not far from where they were.

"What was that?" Kiba asked, frowning. "Sounds like somebody's getting killed... Let's go check it out!" He dragged the reluctant girl behind with him, determined to see what was happening.

"Kiba, maybe we shouldn't," Hinata murmured with worry. "I have a bad feeling about this..."

They made it to another street, and saw some of their classmates amongst a group of people. Half of them were shouting in panic and trying to run away, while the rest were acting strangely by stumbling and groaning as they attempted to bite anyone who got in their way.

"Did we walk into a movie being filmed?" Kiba asked, shocked at what he was seeing. "Oh, maybe the casting director will let me be an extra!"

"I don't think this is a movie set," Hinata said in almost a whisper. "Let's get out of here."

Just as the words left her mouth, some of the zombie-like people turned their attention to her and Kiba. They began to stumble over to them, blood covering their chins and dribbling onto their clothes.

"Shit, run!" The brown-haired boy hissed, grabbing Hinata by the wrist and pulling her after him as he took off into a sprint.

_Meanwhile_

Itachi put the last of his paperwork into a filing folder and set it on the corner of his desk with a sigh. It had taken him nearly six hours to complete the work his boss had requested of him. He ran a hand through his hair tiredly, glancing over at the clock in his office. It was two in the afternoon, which meant that he still had three hours to go before he could go home.

He considered ordering some take-out, since he'd worked straight through lunch to get that work done. Danzo really sucked when it came to time management, and if he had mentioned it to Itachi sooner, then the younger man wouldn't have had to rush through it like that. But that seemed to be the highlight of Itachi's job nowadays since his old boss had retired. Danzo would wait until the last minute to inform Itachi that he needed something done, forcing him to have to screw through the work in a ridiculously short amount of time. Itachi was normally a pretty calm guy, but even he fantasized about killing the stupid bastard. How Danzo had weaseled himself into such a high position was beyond the comprehension of anyone in the damn company.

Itachi pulled a menu out of his desk, hiding a porno mag underneath a more professional business management magazine. He would never admit to it in a million years, but he could be quite the closet pervert.

"What do I want?" he muttered to himself as his eyes skimmed over the selections of food choices. "Already had that the other day..."

Itachi's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a loud crash that had come from outside. Quirking an eyebrow, he rose to his feet and strode over to the window. He peered out through the glass from the sixth story window of the building, his eyes scanning over the streets below. A car had crashed into a tree, and now resembled an accordion that had caught on fire. A random person had decided to take the opportunity to steal a single undamaged tire from said burning car, before scurrying away with it.

"How did that happen?" Itachi murmured quietly to himself. "Speeding?"

To his surprise, a group of people suddenly stumbled out of nowhere, crashing into one another and slashing at the bystanders that had gathered around the crash. To Itachi, they looked like a bunch of adults who had decided to go Trick-Or-Treating. Either that or they were shooting yet another low-budget zombie movie.

_Actors?_ He wondered as he continued to watch the site. The next sixty seconds basically confirmed that those 'people' were actual zombies. As much as Itachi was the type who dismissed the idea of such ridiculous things, there was no denying what he was witnessing with his own eyes. The amount of zombies increased in such a short time that it was clear that he wasn't watching a movie being filmed. That, and the fact that there were no cameras.

The raven-haired man sighed. "Looks like I'm skipping lunch today."

He went back over to his desk and pulled out a secret drawer. Taking the handgun he'd concealed there since the first day he'd acquired the desk, he checked its ammo. Finding it fully loaded, just as he had left it, he tucked it inside his blazer and left the office. Hopefully he at least had enough ammunition to sustain him until he could find more.

_Elsewhere_

"Of course I don't want to go out with Naruto," Sakura hissed over the phone as she continued to speed down the road in her car. "Why would you ask me that!?"

"But Sasuke-kun is never going to ask you out," Ino replied with a laugh that irritated the pinkette. "He's going to ask me out, so you might as well take Naruto up on his offer so that you don't die alone."

Sakura growled. "Shut up, Ino Pig! Just because you're a freaking actress, it doesn't mean that Sasuke-kun will choose you over me. You play a hooker in a television series for the love of God! I wouldn't exactly be boasting about it."

"Aww, no need to be jealous, Sakura," the blond teased. "Just because I'm a gorgeous television star, hooker or not, you shouldn't feel so threatened. Don't worry, some guys are into that whole nurse thing. Maybe you'll find yourself a nice man with a nurse fetish, even though you're technically still just a med student. Why don't you ask Lee?"

"You bitch!" The pink-haired woman snapped, angrily turning the wheel as she rounded a turn. "I swear, when I see you, I'm-"

It was then that a something large and heavy crashed right into the front of her car, rolling up onto the windshield. Sakura screamed and dropped her phone, slamming on the brakes as hard as she could. Whatever she'd hit tumbled right off the hood of the car onto the ground, making it so that she couldn't see what it was.

"Oh, my god...Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod OH MY FREAKING GOD!" Sakura clambered out of the vehicle, the windshield severely cracked and splattered with blood.

There was a man lying on the ground, his plaid button-up soaked with blood. His head was turned at an impossibly bent angle, and it was clear that he was dead.

"Oh, my god..." Sakura sank to her knees, her eyes tearing up as she continued to quietly repeat that phrase. She'd just hit and killed a man with her freaking car. Burying her face in her hands, she let out a choked sob.

"What have I done...?"

The man suddenly groaned and stirred, causing Sakura to scream and fall backwards onto her butt. Her green eyes widened when the man started to claw at the ground, his neck still bent at that awkward angle. Sakura watched in horror as he slowly climbed to his feet, growling and making other guttural noises.

"What the hell is that?" Sakura squeaked, backing away from him with terror.

When he finally regained his footing, he began to stumble over to her with jerky movements. Sakura shrieked and scrambled up, not liking the deliriousness in his otherwise vacant expression. She ran past her car, knowing damn well that there was no way she'd have time to get in, start the car, and drive away. That was not including her usual routine of buckling up, checking her hair and make-up, and then sending a rude text message to respond to Ino's.

The pinkette made a mad dash towards a building, her heart racing as she ran to it. All around her, people were being attacked by others who resembled the man she had just smashed into. She felt like she was in the middle of one of those stupid zombie movies that Naruto always tried to convince her to watch with him. Only in real life, it was about a hundred times scarier especially as she passed a zombie dressed like a clown. That itself was enough to send even the most badass adult hurtling under their own bed with a baseball bat and a German army helmet.

"This can't be freaking happening!" she exclaimed just as she reached the door. "And this is why I hate Thursdays! Something bad always happens on Thursdays!"

She realized too late as a middle-aged lady limped out of nowhere, her bloody mouth wide open to bite Sakura's shoulder. However, before she could sink her teeth into the screaming med student, her head was suddenly blown off in a sickening mess. Sakura remained stuck in her spot, too stunned to do anything for several seconds.

"Um, if you don't want to fucking die, I recommend that you start fucking running," Hidan scoffed as he made his way to her. "I did you a fucking favor, but don't think that I'll become your personal bodyguard just because you want to be fucking stupid."

Angry, she whirled around to face him. The man appeared to be in his early twenties, with violet eyes and his silver hair slicked back. He was tall and handsome, though he had a cocky smirk that seemed to piss Sakura off. His black shirt was left open, showing off his muscular chest, and he wore a pair of black pants with several pockets. He was holding a shotgun, and had four handguns in his belt, two in the front and two in the back. Whatever space was empty in between the guns were pouches of ammo. Whoever he was, he definitely came prepared.

"Shut up! I think I have the right to be a little freaked out! I feel like I'm trapped in damn horror movie! I mean, aren't you panicking, too?"

"No, not really," he deadpanned.

"You're an idiot, then!" Sakura snapped.

Hidan frowned. "Hey, I just saved your fucking life. The least you can do is show a bit of gratitude."

"Fine," she hissed through gritted teeth. "Thank you for shooting that bitch in the head so that she didn't bite my throat out. I am grateful because life would suck if I turned into one of those things."

"And I could've saved that bullet for something else," he replied with a roll of his eyes.

"Asshole!" Sakura growled.

It was then that Itachi opened the door, causing Sakura to panic and swing her fist out in panic. It caught Itachi off guard, and he winced when he felt a fist slam into the side of his head.

"Good one," Hidan said with a laugh as Sakura put her hands in front of her mouth in embarrassment. "Maybe there's hope for you yet. Just keep in mind that the zombies are the ones who you should be hitting."

"Shut up," she snapped, then turned her attention to Itachi. "I am so sorry! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he replied, giving the sore spot a small rub. "Can't say I blame you."

Sakura looked at him, her eyes growing wide when she saw just how much he resembled Sasuke. It took her a minute to realize that he was Sasuke's older brother, Itachi, whom she hadn't seen in quite a few years. She had forgotten how handsome he had been when she was twelve years old, and now that she was nineteen, his looks seemed to have only improved in the past seven years. He had to be about twenty-four years old right about now. He wore a dark blue business suit with the blazer left open and his tie removed. It was easy to see why she'd had a crush on him when they were younger, while simultaneously liking Sasuke at the same time.

"Itachi..." she murmured, suddenly even more embarrassed. "I haven't seen you in awhile. But you probably don't remember me..."

The raven-haired man smiled softly. "Sakura, right? Sasuke's friend."

Sakura's eyes widened slightly. "Yeah. I'm surprised you recognize me."

"You haven't changed much," he told her, though it was a flat-out lie.

Itachi had always thought Sakura was a cute kid, and had grown into an attractive adult. She had grown her pink hair down to her shoulders, and her eyes were greener than he'd remembered. It appeared as though she was into nursing, since she was wearing a short-sleeved white dress that went down to her knees, with a red cross stitched across the pocket on her breast. Her chest was smaller than average, but Itachi didn't seem to mind as he unwittingly let himself look her up and down.

"Hey, I don't mean to interrupted your staring contest or anything, but we should probably get the fuck outta here," Hidan snapped at the two of them. "Come on, Itachi. You're not the type of guy to gawk at a woman for that long. You're usually more discreet. But it seems that you know her, so you can stare at her all you want when we get the fuck outta here."

_Itachi knows this obnoxious jerk?_ Sakura thought to herself.

Itachi scowled at the other man, but didn't say anything against it. "It probably would be smart if we stick together. For now at least."

"Well, what should we do?" Sakura asked, looking around. "There's more of those zombies all over the place. My car is damaged and I don't think we can drive through this anyway."

"I know exactly where to go," Hidan told her with a smirk. "We just gotta walk there."

"Great," she replied with an eye roll. "We'll be dead before we make it."

"Not unless we're careful," Itachi told her as he pulled out his gun. "Let's go."

They avoided the stumbling zombies as much as they could, since there were plenty of other bystanders for them to attack. It would only take them about ten minutes to reach the destination, so they would just have to stay alive until then.

"You want a gun?" Hidan asked Sakura as the three of them hurried.

"No, I don't know how to shoot," she responded, sounding insulted.

The silver-haired male snorted. "You're more likely to die then."

"I'll keep an eye on her," Itachi spoke up. "I won't let any of those guys near her."

Just as they reached the halfway point, they saw two college students running away from a small horde. The guy had messy brown hair, and wore black pants and a white short-sleeved button up shirt, as well as a red tie. However, it was the girl who caught Hidan's attention in particular. She had long indigo hair that went all the way down to her waist, and her skin was a light porcelain color. Her uniform consisted of a short, pleated red plaid skirt, and a white short-sleeved button up blouse that fit to her body nicely. Her breasts looked particularly nice as the first few buttons of her top had come undone. White thigh highs and black flats finished her attire, and all at once, Hidan's schoolgirl fetish reared its perverted head.

"Damn..." he muttered, momentarily stunned as he watched her run. "Look at that rack..."

Sakura smacked him upside the head. "Knock it off! We need to help them! Those are my friends!"

"Oh, you know her? Maybe I'll introduce myself," Hidan remarked smugly, earning another smack from her. "Ow! What the fuck!?"

Kiba cursed as he and Hinata continued to run from the infected group, hitching his breath when he saw that they were coming up to a dead end. "Shit! There's nowhere to go!"

"What should we do?" Hinata asked with worry as she looked over her shoulder.

"Climb that tree up ahead," he told her, nodding to it. "It's our only chance. I don't think those guys can climb. Or at least, I hope not..."

They made it to the tree, and Kiba jumped up to grab onto a branch. He pulled himself up, then extended his hand down to Hinata. The girl grabbed onto him and he tugged her up, before reaching up to the next branch. This one was higher up, and he literally had to jump to get hold of it. Once he was up, he reached down to help Hinata up once again.

"I can't reach you!" she exclaimed, noticing how the zombies were gradually closing in on the tree.

"You have to try!" he said.

Hinata swallowed, then jumped as high as her body would allow her. Kiba grabbed her hand and went to pull her up. However, just as he got her up to his branch, he suddenly lost his footing and accidentally let go of her to catch himself so that he wouldn't fall. Hinata gasped and felt herself falling, then landed on the grass below. She whimpered in pain from the impact, and her eyes went wide when she saw that the zombies were only about ten feet away.

"Hinata!" Kiba looked down at her helplessly, not knowing what to do.

The indigo-haired girl stared at them fearfully, unable to move as they stumbled closer. She managed to sit up, but couldn't do anything else after that. Just as the first one was about to lunge at her, a loud shot went off and the guy's head blew completely off. Within a few seconds, a few more shots had gone off, killing the rest of the zombies. Shaking, Hinata looked up to see a silver-haired young man making his way towards her.

"You okay?" Hidan crouched down next to her.

Hinata nodded numbly, unable to respond as she struggled not to burst into tears. Taking advantage of the situation, Hidan slung shotgun over his back and gathered her into his arms. He picked her up bridal style just as Kiba came down from the tree. Hinata held onto Hidan, a light blush staining her cheeks as she gazed up at him. Her eyes were a pale lavender that seemed to captivate him, and he found her blush to be cute.

"Thanks for helping her, but I'll take over from here," the jealous brunette said just as Itachi and Sakura came over to join them.

"No, you fucking won't," Hidan snapped, glaring at the kid. "You fucking dropped her out of a tree. She'll be dead if she keeps following an idiot like you."

"It was an accident," Kiba argued, not liking the fact that Hinata was being held by another guy.

Hidan snorted in contempt, turning away so Kiba couldn't take the girl from him. "Accident or not, you still fucking dropped her. If I wasn't there, she'd be one of them right now. Or dead. Yeah, you're a great fucking friend..."

"Hinata, are you okay?" Sakura asked.

"I-I'm fine," she replied in a soft voice, still freaked out what had just happened.

"You fell from a tree, though," the pinkette replied, casting a death glare at a sheepish Kiba. "I'll take a look at you when we get somewhere safe."

"I'd like to take a look at her," Hidan quipped in a suggestive manner, angering the brunette male even more.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Kiba demanded. "And what is going on around here? What's with all those zombies everywhere?"

The silver-haired man smirked. "Isn't it obvious? It's the zombie apocalypse, bitch."

**Hence the title! Okay, I'll calm down, now... Anyway, I hope you guys liked it or found it somewhat amusing/entertaining. If not, then I will just have to huddle under my blanket for the rest of the night. Next chapter will be out within the next week.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Finally done with the second chapter. It would've been done sooner, but my family decided to download a bunch of games on my damn laptop and playing them relentlessly, therefore giving me less time to update... Annoying, really... But anyway, please enjoy this chapter and the next one should be out next week. **

_**It's the Zombie Apocalypse, Bitch!**_

**Chapter 2**

"This is crazy," Kiba grumbled. "A zombie apocalypse? How could something like this happen in the first place?"

"Haven't you ever watched any fucking zombies movies before? Not saying this is a movie or anything, but shit, anything can happen with all the crap that our government tries to hide from us," Hidan scoffed.

Kiba snorted. "So now you're going to blame the government on this? Don't be an idiot."

"Who the fuck are you calling an idiot? Asswipe," the silver-haired man shot back.

"Um, I hate to interrupt...whatever this is...but there are more of those things coming our way so we should probably get out of here in the near future," Sakura pointed out in a flat tone of voice.

Realizing the situation, Hidan and Kiba promptly shut up, but not before casting hate-filled glares at one another. With a smug grin, Hidan led the group towards the destination, carrying Hinata in his arms.

"Umm, th-thank you for saving me. I'm sure I can walk on my own, so you can put me down," she murmured softly to Hidan, her cheeks dusted with a delicate shade of pink.

"No can do," he replied, enjoying the pissed off look on Kiba's face as he said it. "You fell from a fucking tree and could've hit your head. If I put you down and let you walk, you could black out and get attacked by those ugly fuckers that are stumbling around the city. And I'll be damned if I let a pretty girl like you get hurt."

For once, Sakura agreed with him. "He's right. You could've been injured, and you run the risk of getting caught by those zombies more easily in that condition."

"Actually, I was referring to the bums and druggies that lurk around the city. But yeah, I guess the zombies may pose as a problem, too," Hidan said with a smirk.

"Idiot..." Kiba muttered.

Hidan glanced back over his shoulder. "Watch it, you little bastard. I have a gun. You don't. Get the fucking picture?"

"Why the hell do you have all that stuff anyway?" the brunette demanded as they continued their way. "Seriously, who the hell has all that stuff just lying around their house?"

"You think this is a lot? Wait until we get to the place I'm bringing you to. Even a brat like you can probably find some sort of item to use for protection," the older male said with a laugh.

"You're an asshole, you know that?" Kiba snapped, causing Sakura to groan in annoyance as he refused to back down. "I wanna know; just who the hell are you?"

Hidan quirked an eyebrow. "You really want to know that fucking bad? Okay, fine. My name is Hidan, and I love sharp objects. I enjoy short walks to the bar, and my hobbies include having sex, getting drunk, beating the shit out of people, and stealing cookies from Girl Scouts."

"That's not what I meant," the younger man snapped, ignoring the amused chuckles from both Itachi and Sakura. "What do you do for a living? Are you in a gang or something?"

"Not exactly. But let's just say that I take part in certain activities for my own personal need. If it makes you feel better, my parole officer thinks I'm a very nice person when I want to be," he quipped.

"Parole!? You mean that you went to jail!? And you think that Hinata is safer with you than she is with me?"

Hidan sighed. "You still have your panties in a bunch over that? Is she your girlfriend?"

Kiba didn't respond right away, but the slight shake of Hinata's head was enough to answer the question.

"I didn't think so," the silver-haired male replied smugly.

"Are we almost there yet?" Sakura asked, looking around the surprisingly quiet area they'd just entered.

"Soon," Itachi told her. "It's right around that corner."

"You know where it is?" The pinkette looked at him with surprise.

The Uchiha was quiet for a moment, before speaking up again. "I used to do some work with Hidan awhile back. It's been a few years, but I still remember everything I need to know. I'm glad that I kept a gun in my desk for reasons like this. Though I never imagined that it would be because the aspect of a zombie apocalypse," he added with a sigh.

"So we have a convict, and some guy who looks freakishly like Sasuke, only he carries a gun," Kiba mused. "Just great."

"This is Itachi, Sasuke-kun's older brother," Sakura informed him. "Don't be rude to him. But you can be an asshole to the convict as much as you want."

"Hey! You sure are an ungrateful bunch, you know that?" Hidan glanced down at Hinata with a flirtatious smile. "Well, everyone except for you at least."

"Will you stop hitting on her!?" Kiba snarled as Hinata blushed even more.

The silver-haired male ignored him. "Okay, we're here. Itachi, you still got your key or did you return it awhile ago?"

"I still have it. I didn't know if I'd ever need it again," Itachi responded as he pulled out his set of keys.

"So, will we be safe in there?" Sakura asked him as he unlocked the door.

"We'll be safe for a little while," he told her. "At least long enough to gather some supplies. This was built specifically against any type of attacks, so those zombies won't be able to break in so easy. The walls are lined with steel, and the windows are double-paned and nearly impossible to break through."

"So then why don't we just stay here until help comes?" Kiba questioned, before lowering his voice drastically to the point where it was nearly inaudible. "Who the hell builds a place like this in the middle of a freaking city?"

The raven-haired male glanced at him just as he pushed the heavy door open, choosing to ignore the snide comment that Kiba hadn't intended him to hear. "I said it was nearly impossible to break in. But not completely. And who says that help is coming?"

Everyone followed him inside, before he pushed the door back and engaged the several locks. Sakura and Kiba looked around in astonishment, surprised that the place was so well equipped. It resembled an apartment in a way, with one main living room with an attached kitchen, and two smaller rooms off to the side that were supposed to be bedrooms. The two sides of the main room that did not contain the kitchen or bedrooms were heavily stocked with various guns and artilleries. Boxes of ammunition and grenades had been carefully placed throughout the place, and Kiba noticed a door within one of the walls.

"Where's that lead to?" he asked.

"It leads to a garage where we have a Hummer in there. It's fully equipped and with a full tank of gas, so when we're ready to leave, we'll be taking it with us," Itachi responded.

Kiba let out a dry laugh. "I swear, it's almost like you guys expected something like this to happen. This is ridiculous."

"You sure like to fucking complain," Hidan scoffed. "Do you want me to just throw your ass outside and let those zombies get you? Because I'm getting really sick and tired of your shitty fucking attitude."

"Go ahead! I dare you," Kiba challenged.

However, before Hidan could respond, Hinata quietly spoke up. "Kiba, you shouldn't be picking fights with him. I mean...he did help us and all, even though he didn't have to... Can you please try to get along?"

"But..." Her friend sighed, defeated. "Alright, I'll try..."

"Aww, gee thanks," Hidan said sarcastically, before turning away. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go take a look at your friend to make sure she's okay." He started to carry Hinata towards one of the smaller rooms, leaving behind an infuriated Kiba. However, before he reached it, Sakura moved in his way.

"I'll take a look at her," she told him in a stern voice. "I've got the proper training to do so. I know that you're just being a pervert."

Hidan feigned a shocked expression. "You really think that I would do such a thing to a sweet, innocent girl like her?"

"Yes," Sakura, Kiba, and even Itachi replied in unision.

"Ugh, fine," he growled, then brought Hinata into the room. "I swear, I never get to have any fucking fun around here..."

Sakura simply glared at him until he gently set Hinata down on a couch, then waited for him to leave. Hidan took one last look at the indigo-haired girl before he reluctantly left the room.

"Alright, let's get some shit together," he said in an irritated tone of voice, before turning his attention to Kiba. "So do you know how to shoot? Or am I going to have to teach you?"

"I can handle it without your help," Kiba snapped, not wanting any sort of assistance from him.

"So you know how to fucking shoot then?" Hidan grabbed one of the guns from the wall and tossed it at the younger male, only to sweatdrop when Kiba fumbled and dropped it. "You're lucky that it was empty and with the safety on or else you would've just shot off your own fucking foot."

The brunette scowled and angrily picked it up. "No, you just don't know how to freaking throw a gun properly."

"There is no 'proper' way to throw a gun, since guns really shouldn't be thrown in the first place," Itachi murmured as he removed his blazer and set it on a chair.

"Don't be so hard on him, Itachi. It's not his fault that he's a fucking dumbass," Hidan snickered as he inspected an assault rifle before glancing back over to Kiba. "Does your cute friend know how to shoot?"

"Hinata? No, of course not! Does she look like she knows how to use a gun!?" Kiba exclaimed.

The silver-haired male smirked. "I can show her. Hell, I can show her a lot of fucking things."

"And what exactly are you getting at?" Kiba demanded.

Hidan shrugged nonchalantly. "Things that will be helpful to her in the fucking zombie apocalypse going on outside. I can teach her how to use a gun...or how grenades work..."

"Bullshit. You just want to try to get her in bed with you," the college student accused.

"Well, that does sound pretty fucking awesome, and I am aiming for that, but I'll show her that stuff regardless. She needs to know how to protect herself just in case she gets separated from me or whatnot," Hidan explained.

"In case she gets separated from _you?_ Don't make me laugh," Kiba scoffed.

"Would you two knock it off already?" Itachi was getting annoyed with them and was restraining himself from smacking them both. "Kiba, do you know how to use a gun or not? This is kind of a serious matter in case you haven't noticed."

"Well...I've played video games that involve shooting," Kiba told him sheepishly.

Hidan smirked. "That doesn't count. Not even close." He turned and grabbed some ammo off of a table. "Here, take these and load it up."

Hinata and Sakura emerged from the other room a moment later, a relieved expression on Sakura's face.

"Hinata is okay. Just a bit of bruising on her side, but nothing serious," she told the guys.

"That's good. I'm glad you're okay, Hinata." Kiba pulled her into an embrace, wanting to send Hidan a message to back the hell off.

Undeterred, Hidan snorted. "Keep it up and you'll only end up hurting her worse."

"No, I won't," Kiba snapped, oblivious to the pained expression on Hinata's face.

"Kiba...not so tight," she squeaked, trying to separate herself from him.

Sakura scowled at the teen. "Kiba, knock it off! Let get of her or I'll throw you into a wall my damn self."

"What? I'm not doing anything wrong? Right, Hinata?" Kiba was determined to prove that she belonged to him, whether she realized it or not.

"Ow...this is really starting to hurt..." The indigo-haired girl squirmed in her possessive friend's grasp. She gave Sakura a pleading look that basically said 'Get him the hell off me please'.

Sakura grabbed Kiba by the ear, pulling him away from Hinata while he whined in pain. Hinata winced, holding onto her side as the pinkette dragged Kiba into a corner as if he was a child. Hidan spent his next ten seconds blatantly staring at Hinata's chest while Sakura berated Kiba for acting like an idiot. Itachi merely shook his head with a small smile on his lips, finding Sakura's lecture to be amusing.

"And that is why we don't hurt our friends," she explained to Kiba like a grade school teacher. "Hurting our friends is bad. And bad people stand in corners until they learn what they did wrong. Understand?"

"Yes," Kiba mumbled, embarrassed but too afraid to say anything against it. "I'm sorry..."

There was suddenly a frenzied knock on the door, startling the group. Hidan and Itachi exchanged glances, and cautiously walked over to the door. The pounding continued, followed by a terrified scream.

"LET ME IN! PLEASE!" The banging intensified.

Realizing that it must've been someone about to be attacked by a horde of zombies, Itachi unlocked the door and began to open it. However, the frantic woman who'd been knocking shoved the door open all the way rather quickly, conking Hidan in the forehead with it.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK!?" He snapped, grabbing onto his throbbing forehead as the woman darted inside.

Sakura's eyes widened in recognition while Itachi quickly shut the door and relocked it. "Ino? What are you doing? I thought you were out of town."

Ino panted heavily, trying to calm herself as she shot an annoyed glance at the pinkette. "Really? I was almost killed by those...those things! And the first thing you say is that you thought I was out of town?! How about 'are you okay'!? I could've died out there!"

Hidan growled and glanced at Sakura. "Friend of yours?"

The newcomer was dressed in tight white pants, and baby blue tube top. She wore white high-heeled sandals, and held onto a glitzy white handbag. Her long blond hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and expensive sunglasses were pushed up on top of her head.

"Hi there!" she said cheerfully, as if she hadn't just been ripped to shreds by a group of zombies. "Hey, Kiba! Hi, Hinata! How are you guys doing?"

"Could be better," Kiba replied ruefully. "You know, what with the damn horror movie going on outside and all..."

"A movie!?" She squealed in delight. "And I thought that it was a real zombie invasion! Do you think they might cast me as an extra? My screams were real enough so they have to take that into consideration, right?"

The others sweat-dropped at her ridiculous logic.

"Ino, this isn't the set of a movie," Hinata told her, taking a look out the window. "Don't go back out there."

"Awww, dammit. I was hoping for a role," the blond mumbled.

Sakura quirked an eyebrow. "Really? There's a freaking zombie apocalypse going on outside and you're more concerned over the fact that it's not a movie? How dumb are you, Ino-Pig!?"

"Shut up, Forehead. I just got excited, that's all," Ino said in defense, then looked around. "What the hell is this place?"

"A place to stock up on shit in the event of the world ending," Hidan remarked sarcastically.

The blond looked him up and down, before breaking into a flirtatious smile. "I'm Ino. What's your name?"

"Don't even start..." Sakura sighed with exasperation. "That asshole is Hidan, and that other guy is Itachi, Sasuke-kun's older brother."

"So I'm locked up in a place with two sexy men," Ino said, eyeing both of them up and down. "Not bad for the end of the world."

Hidan simply rolled his eyes, while Itachi chose to remain quiet. Kiba, meanwhile, was upset to be overlooked.

"Hey, what about me?" he whined.

"What about you?" The blond asked. "You're like a little annoying brother that won't go away."

"We're the same freaking age!" He shot back. "Eh, whatever. You're the same pain in the ass that you've always been..."

Itachi finally spoke up. "I think it would be in our best interest to hurry up and gather our supplies. We'll stock up on everything we need, then make a run for the vehicle so we can get out of here."

"I can call my chauffeur and get us out here," Ino stated proudly.

Hidan snorted. "Unless your limo is stocked with alcohol and your driver is good with guns, I'll have to pass on that fucking offer."

"I can call him right now," she replied, pulling out cell phone, before frowning. "Aww, I can't get any reception... This is worse than the zombies! How am I supposed to make hair appointments, or answer if any casting directors try to call me, or-"

"Will somebody shut her up already?" Hidan growled, getting agitated. "Come on, let's hurry the fuck up."

Once they had gathered extra guns and ammunition, Itachi opened the door that would lead him to the garage. His heart sank when he noticed that the Hummer was gone.

"Where'd it go?" he murmured just as Hidan entered.

"What the fuck! Where the hell is it!?" The silver-haired man growled, looking around the garage. "It should've been here...where the fuck did it go?"

"Well, that's great," Kiba sneered. "Now what?"

Hidan thought for a moment, before his violet eyes widened. "Sasori has it at his place. He told me the other day that a few parts had to be replaced. Motherfucker, now we gotta go to his fucking house. If he's even there."

"How far away does he live?" Sakura asked him.

"It's only about a twenty minute walk-"

"_Only_ twenty minutes!?" Kiba cut him off. "Awesome, so we're as good as dead."

Hidan glared at the shorter boy, on his last nerve. "Will you shut the fuck up already!? I'm about two seconds away from hurling your whiny ass right into a crowd of those fuckers if you don't knock it the hell off!"

Hinata surprised him by gently grabbing onto his arm. "No, please don't do that. Kiba didn't mean it." She looked over at her friend with concern. "Please stop arguing with Hidan. He sounds like he knows what he's doing..." _And you're annoying the rest of us in the process..._

Hidan grinned victoriously and slung an arm around the petite girl's shoulders, pulling her into an embrace that made her blush and Kiba hiss. "Damn right I know what I'm doing. I've never been in the middle of a fucking zombie apocalypse, but I've dealt with similar situations with gangs and whatnot. And gang members are typically smarter than zombies, more often than not. Unless you have those really stupid fuckers who just run right in with empty guns," he added with a snicker. "We'll rush to Sasori's house as fast as we can. Itachi and I know where it is, so we should break up into two smaller groups so it'll be less of a hassle. Two smaller groups is better than one group of six."

"I'll go with Itachi," Sakura said, stepping closer to the raven-haired man. "I trust him, not you."

Hidan shrugged indifferently. "Whatever fucking works for you. Hinata can come with me," he stated, pulling her even closer.

"If Hinata's going with you, then so will I," Kiba snarled defiantly.

"Then it looks like I'll tag along with Sasuke-kun's hot older brother," Ino replied with a smile. "Maybe we'll run into Sasuke-kun."

There was banging coming from outside of the building, indicating that the zombies were trying to get in.

"What if they catch us?" Ino asked with worry. "What if they turn us into one of them!? That would be so horrible!"

"Don't worry, if that happens, I'll shoot you and put you out of your fucking misery," Hidan quipped. "You guys ready to make a break for it?"

The others nodded silently, and Itachi was just as geared up as he was. The banging grew louder, accompanied by groans and other guttural sounds.

"Okay, that's our queue to fucking go," Hidan said, tugging Hinata along with him. "We'll leave through the garage since it's our best chance."

Itachi aimed his gun just as Hidan pushed the button that would open the garage door. There were a few zombies stumbling around outside, but not a huge horde like they'd been afraid of.

"Ewww, they're gross and ugly," Ino complained.

"Have you ever seen an attractive zombie?" Sakura remarked as she rolled her eyes.

Hidan and Itachi quickly shot them all down, the silver-haired male looking particularly excited as he blew their heads off.

"This is gonna be fucking great. I can shoot as many as these fuckers without worrying about getting arrested," he speculated.

"No, but the police still may interfere," Sakura said, nodding over to a cop that had been turned into a zombie.

"Even better," he remarked, shooting the uniformed man down before he glanced at Itachi. "Alright, see you at Sasori's house. Try not to fucking die on your way there."

"You don't have to worry about that," Itachi replied with a faint smile. "See you there."

Hidan took off down the street, clutching Hinata's hand in his while a whiny Kiba trailed behind them. Itachi led Sakura and Ino towards their destination going in a different direction. All they had to do was make it to Sasori's house in one piece. Or not get turned into a damn zombie in the process. Just how hard could that be?

**Sorry if the chapter sucked, but I felt rushed since I haven't had a lot of time to update lately. Anyway, please review and the next chapter will be out next week hopefully.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright, I wanted to update because I'm literally moving all of my crap into my new apartment today and won't be able to start the next chapter for a few days while I wait for my internet to get back up and running. But when I'm back, not only will I work on the next chapter to this story, but hopefully have another one-shot as well. No promises though. On that note, this chapter is kinda freaking long, but whatever. Hope you like it and don't think it sucks. Please review (or flame), whatever floats your boat, I guess.**

_**I**__**t's the Zombie Apocalypse, Bitch!**_

**Chapter 3**

Hidan led Hinata and Kiba towards Sasori's house, happily shooting anything that got in his way. He made sure to keep a close eye on the cute girl, but didn't give a damn about the loudmouthed brat that had accompanied her.

"So, what are you going to do if your friend isn't even home and we can't get to the vehicle?" Kiba asked, peering over his shoulder to make sure they weren't being followed by another horde.

"Even if he's not there, I can still get into his garage and I have a key to the fucking Hummer," Hidan replied, smirking gleefully as he shot a zombie square in the face. "Unless he decided to leave the city in the damn thing, we'll be fine."

Kiba gaped at him. "So for all we know, he might've left the freaking city in our only means of transportation! I knew we shouldn't have followed you."

"Kiba, please don't," Hinata said with a sigh, getting irritated with his attitude. "Whatever happens, I'm sure Hidan will do his best to think of something else. I don't know much about stuff like this, seeing how I've never had to deal with an uprising of zombies...but I'll do whatever I can to help," she added. "We can't expect him to do everything." _And your whining is getting extremely annoying..._

"I don't get why you're defending him, Hinata," her friend snapped in a harsh tone of voice. "For one thing, we hardly even know him. And he told us that he's been to jail for God knows what. How can you be so sure that he won't get us killed?"

She glanced at the silver-haired male, then looked back at Kiba. "Because he saved me. He could've just left me where I was, and then I'd either be dead or, well, you know... Jail or not, he's put forth effort to protect me and help the rest of us out. You should be a bit more grateful."

"Yeah, especially considering that you're the reason why she almost fucking died," Hidan decided to add, pleased that Hinata was taking his side.

"Oh, so now you're going to start that again? Why am I not surprised?" Kiba scoffed. "It was an accident! I lost my balance, and if I hadn't let go of her, then I would've fallen, too, and then we both would've been screwed. I mean, what would you have done?"

Hidan shot another zombie in the head and looked at the younger boy with a serious expression on his face. "I would've allowed myself to fall with her, and then made sure to break her fall on the fucking way down," he added, causing Hinata to blush. "Now stop being a dick."

"Well aren't you just perfect," Kiba drawled sarcastically as he and Hinata continued to follow the convict. "You're just saying that so you can get in bed with her."

"Kiba!" Hinata was shocked at his rudeness. "How could you say something like that?" Slapping wasn't really in her nature, but even she thought it was high time for him to get a good knock on the head.

Hidan suddenly grabbed hold o f the collar of Kiba's shirt and pushed him up against the side of a building they were passing. "Now you listen to me, you whiny little bastard. The next time you say anything like that, I'll slit your fucking throat and throw you to the zombies as an afternoon snack. Got it?" He tightened his grip to make a point.

Kiba swallowed, his eyes wide with fear. He nodded vehemently, as he didn't want that to happen, and Hidan was crazy enough to do it. Hidan released the boy, then wrapped an arm around Hinata's shoulders reassuringly, still glaring at Kiba.

"Let's go," he growled. "The sooner we get to Sasori's, the better."

A horde of zombies began to make their way towards the trio, limping clumsily and bumping into each in the process. Kiba broke out in a smile as an idea popped into his head. He would prove to Hinata that he was more than capable of protecting her without the help of that asshole. Taking out the gun that he'd received earlier, he pointed it at the group of approaching zombies while simultaneously moving closer to them.

"Don't worry, Hinata! I won't let these guys near you!" He went to go shoot the gun, only to realize that it wouldn't go off. "Hey, what the hell!?"

"The safety, you idiot!" Hidan tried to use his, but found that his was out of ammo. "Ah, shit..."

As the silver-haired male quickly reached into one of pouches to grab some ammuntion, Hinata watched Kiba with a panicked expression on her face. He was too close to the zombies, for one thing. And the fact that he'd never fired an actual gun before wasn't very reassuring.

Kiba clicked off the safety, then shot one of them through the chest. "Alright, I got it!"

"Kiba, get away from them!" Hinata exclaimed, waiting anxiously as Hidan hurriedly reloaded his weapon.

"I've got this!" Kiba fired off another round, smiling when he hit the guy's leg. "I got another one!"

"You need to shoot its head, moron! Or they'll just keep getting closer until they fucking catch you," Hidan hissed.

Kiba realized his mistake too late and one of the zombies lunged right at him, sinking his teeth in the brunette's shoulder.

"Kiba!" Hinata watched in horror as her friend screamed and tried to fight the thing off.

"Fuck!" With his gun reloaded, Hidan quickly shot the zombie whom had bitten Kiba, then finished off the rest in a frenzy of bullets.

"Oh, my god!" Hinata was about to run over to Kiba, only to be restrained by Hidan.

"Don't get close to him," he warned her, his arms wrapped tightly around her. "He's been infected."

Feeling numb, the indigo-haired girl watched as Kiba went completely still, his face cast downward towards the ground. After several seconds, he let out a groan and finally straightened himself up using jerky movements.

"Just when I thought he couldn't look any shittier," Hidan murmured, then aimed his gun at the kid. "Sorry, Hinata, but there's no saving him now."

"But..." Hinata watched as Kiba slowly made his way towards them, groaning and stumbling just like the others. He tripped and fell on his face, flailing around on the pavement for a few seconds, before dragging himself up again.

Hidan looked at Hinata regretfully. "It's better if I kill him now. Unless you want him to wander around like that until someone else comes along gets rid of him. Do you want me to do it?"

"I..." She sniffled, knowing that there was nothing else that could be done to save him. However, she didn't want Kiba to stay like that for the rest of his life, whatever amount of time that may be. The least he deserved was to be put out of his misery. "...Do it..." She turned her head to look away.

Hidan happily obeyed her request, and fired a single round into Kiba's head, nearly blowing it off completely. The annoying brunette fell to the ground in a heap, a pool of blood surrounding him. Hinata let out a choked sob and fell to her knees, burying her face in her hands. Hiding the fact that he enjoyed disposing of that whiny pain in the ass, Hidan put on his best sympathetic face and crouched down beside her, setting his shotgun down on the ground.

"I'm sorry," he convincingly lied as he pulled her petite body into his arms. "It was for the best."

"I...I know..." she whimpered, allowing him to comfort her as she melted against him.

Hidan looked around to make sure there were no other zombies nearby, noting that there were only a few random people running around in a panic. He realized that in the short span since they'd made it to the safe house that the number of normal people had drastically diminished. Not a good sign. Nonetheless, he wasn't going to let anything stupid ruin this moment.

Hinata quietly cried against him, wetting his exposed chest with her tears. Hidan didn't mind, and busied himself by gently stroking her hair while taking another look down her blouse. He shifted her so that she was nestled in his lap, his eyes skimming over her toned legs. If the end of the world wasn't happening at that very moment, he would've suggested going to his place for some fun. The pervert inside of him began to mentally undress her, picturing what she looked like under that tempting little uniform.

Hinata finally looked up at him with her pretty lavender eyes, trying to wipe the tears away. "Th-thank you... And sorry for crying all over you..."

"Don't worry about it," he replied, brushing away a few more. "I can't say I blame you. I'm sorry I couldn't help him in time." Damn, he really was a good liar.

She dropped her gaze, trying to calm herself. "No...Kiba was too reckless. He shouldn't have gotten that close to them..."

_Nah, he should've just aimed for their fucking heads_. "Yeah, I know," he agreed, not telling her what he really thought. "But I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

Hidan gently tilted her face so that she was looking up at him, and he brought his head closer to hers. Hinata held her breath, nervous but excited at the same time as their lips grew closer together. Just as they touched ever-so-lightly, an obnoxious grumble ruined the moment.

"Son of a fucking bitch!" With Hinata on his lap, Hidan angrily picked up his gun and shot the random zombie in the head. "Fucking hell..." He helped the blushing girl stand up, then took hold of her hand. "More of those fuckers are coming this way. We need to get the hell out of here."

Hinata nodded and followed him as quickly as she could as he tugged her along. Hidan was undeniably pissed off as he rushed down the street. He was so close. So fucking close! And that clumsy, absent-minded idiot zombie had to fuck it all up for him.

They continued their way down the street, and Hidan took her behind a building rather than traveling down the main road. There would be less of those fuckers to deal with that way. As heavily armed as Hidan was, he wanted to avoid getting blocked in by a horde, since he'd have to reload eventually, which would probably happen at the worst freaking time with the way their luck was going.

"Fuck," he hissed, noticing a group of them coming from the direction that he was leading her.

It didn't take him long to realize that there were zombies coming from every direction, boxing them in. Okay, maybe not the greatest route of travel...

Thinking quickly, Hidan noticed a fire escape, and tugged Hinata along towards it. The lower part of the ladder had broken off, but there was nowhere else to go. Hidan let go of Hinata's hand and slung his shotgun over his back, where a sniper rifle was already draped across on a strap. He jumped up and grabbed hold of the part that he could reach, heaving himself up. Once he was up on the platform, he crouched down and extended his hand down to Hinata.

"Grab onto me!" he exclaimed as the surrounding horde closed in on the small area. "I'll pull you up."

Hinata gazed up at him nervously, remembering the last time that she had been told that. Last time hadn't ended so well, and if she fell this time, there'd be no chance of saving her with that many zombies.

Sensing her wariness, Hidan's violet eyes locked with lavender ones. "I promise I won't drop you, okay? But you have to hurry."

Not wasting any more time, Hinata jumped up and his hand enveloped her much smaller one. Hidan pulled the girl up, wrapping an arm around her waist once he'd lifted her up enough. He pulled her up the rest of the way, then smirked at her.

"See? I told you I wouldn't let you fall," he remarked.

They climbed up the steps of the fire escape until they reached the top of the roof. Down below, the zombies were scratching and clawing at the side of the building, none of them intelligent or coordinated enough to actually climb up the broken fire ladder.

"But now that we're up here, where should we go?" Hinata asked him.

Scanning the rooftop, Hidan noticed that the buildings were rather close to one another. "Easy. We'll jump from rooftop to rooftop."

Her eyes widened. "J-Jump?"

He chuckled softly. "Don't you worry your pretty little self. We'll be fine, and I'll do most of the work."

"I don't want to slow you down or make things harder for you though," she murmured shamefully.

"Trust me, this is fucking nothing," he replied as he let go of her.

They made their way across the rooftop towards the next building over, which would be an easy leap. Hidan jumped across first, then turned around and waited for Hinata. After a brief moment of hesitation, Hinata took a few steps back since she wouldn't be able to propel herself as easily as he did. She then moved forward and leapt across to the other building. Hidan's arms wrapped around her waist to catch her, his hard chest pressed up against her soft, bountiful breasts.

"Good job," he said with a grin. "Let's keep going."

The two of them jumped across a few more buildings, until they finally came up to one that wasn't quite close enough to the others. Luckily there were only a few zombies in the distance, rather than a huge horde from earlier. Nevertheless, Hidan wanted to take care of them now just in case more showed up. He took the sniper rifle off his back, since it would be better for the distance than his other guns. Snipers had never been his favorite, since he didn't have the patience to wait for the right time. He typically got annoyed and would pull the trigger too soon, thus missing the shot sometimes. This particular time was no exception, and he cursed when the bullet whizzed past the oblivious zombie's head.

"Fuck," he growled, impatiently firing off another round that also missed. "I fucking hate these fucking things. Maybe I'll just shoot them when I get closer. My eyesight is good, but they're too far away for me to see them accurately enough."

"Ummm, c-can I give it a try?" Hinata shyly asked.

Hidan looked at her surprised. "You know how to use this?"

"Aim, wait, and pull the trigger?" she guessed.

He smirked and handed it over. "Alright, give it a try." The male stood a few feet behind her, just in case the recoil sent the petite girl backwards.

Hinata took a deep breath and looked through the scope. There were five zombies wandering around the area she was aiming at, and she prayed that she could hit them. She waited a few seconds for one of them to stop wandering, drool and blood running down his chin as he stood there. Taking the opportunity, she pulled the trigger and the rifle went off. The recoil from the shot did send her back into Hidan's arms, but the bullet made contact with its target, and passed right through the guy's head.

"Damn," Hidan mumbled, in awe over the shot. "You fucking did it. Nice!"

With her face red with embarrassment, Hinata smiled lightly. "Thank you."

The silver-haired man let go of her, watching as she got ready to take the next shot. She was definitely way more patient with him, and her eyesight was pretty damn good, considering that the scope on the rifle wasn't the greatest. Hinata shot the second zombie right in the head, letting out an exasperated breath afterwards.

"Relax. You're doing just fine," Hidan reassured her. "Only three more to go."

As crazy as it sounded, with each time she killed a zombie, Hidan got more and more turned on. A hot girl in a sexy uniform was one thing, but one that could shoot a fucking sniper rifle, too? Hidan wasn't the type of guy who was into committed relationships, but at that point he would've considered getting down on one freaking knee and proposing to the girl. Before he even realized it, Hinata had sniped down all five of the zombies, and she handed the rifle back to him.

"All set," she murmured.

"Shit, you've got better aim than any other fucker I know," Hidan told her, then quirked an eyebrow. "You sure you've never used a gun before?"

Hinata meekly shook her head. "No, that was my first time ever."

Just as Hidan was about to respond, a zombie suddenly catapulted up onto the roof and landed with a thud about ten feet away from him.

"Where did he come from?" Hinata whimpered as Hidan protectively shoved her behind his back, pulling a handgun from his belt.

"Your guess is as good as mine," he replied, shooting the bastard a few times, before another one landed awkwardly onto the rooftop. "What the hell!?" He shot that one, too.

It took them a minute to realize that the zombies had managed to push a trampoline against the side of the building during the chaos. They weren't smart enough to knowingly jump up onto it, but the ones inside the building that had fallen out of the windows were landing on it and being catapulted onto the roof.

"Okay, this is kind of fucking ridiculous," Hidan mumbled as he ran a hand through his hair. "Can this day get any fucking weirder?"

At that very moment a zombie that had become entangled in a bunch of balloons floated past them, grumbling unintelligibly as he hung by his ankle. Two seconds later, he fell from the balloons and landed on a passing motorcycle. The driver fell from the bike, while the zombie remained on the seat facing backwards until it crashed into a parked ice cream truck. He then fell off the bike, scrambled into the truck, and drove off in it, hitting several other zombies in the process.

"Now I've seen everything," Hidan mumbled while Hinata nodded silently in agreement.

Two more zombies catapulted onto the rooftop, both of them landing facedown on the hard concrete. Taking that as their queue to get the hell out of there, Hidan put his gun back and motioned for Hinata to follow him again. He led her over to a fire escape, since they were not close enough to jump to another building. They hurriedly descended the steps, trying to stay away from any nearby windows. It was then that they realized the bottom part of the ladder had been broken off and dragged into the middle of the road.

"Guess we're gonna have to do it the more exciting way," the silver-haired male said with a smirk.

"What do you mean by that?" Hinata asked, only to watch as Hidan jumped down from the fire escape.

Hidan had dropped down over ten feet, managing not to fall on his ass in the process of landing. He then turned and looked up at Hinata, who hadn't moved from her spot just yet.

"You're going to have to jump," he told her. "And you might want to hurry, since those of those guys is about to fall down the fucking fire escape," he added, nodding to the zombie that had stumbled his way over to the rickety ladder. "I'll catch you, so go!"

It was then that the zombie fell, causing Hinata to squeak in fear and jump down off the platform. Just as he had promised, Hidan easily caught her in his arms.

"Told ya." He said, then watched as the zombie plummeted onto the metal platform of the fire escape. "Ha! Stupid fucker!"

More zombies began to stumble into the area, causing Hidan to curse their poor luck. He set the girl down, then grabbed onto her wrist and tugged her down along a narrow path between two buildings.

"We're only about ten minutes away from Sasori's house," he estimated as they ran. "I wonder if Itachi and those two annoying girls are having an easier time."

"Maybe," Hinata mused, glancing back over her shoulder to see if they were being followed.

"Or maybe they died," he speculated. "Eh, who knows?"

"I hope not..." The younger girl's voice trailed off.

Hidan pulled her into an even narrower area, hoping to stay out of sight. It would lead them back out onto the open street, where they could make a mad dash to Sasori's. A few zombies hobbled past the area they were hiding in, too oblivious to notice the pair. Hinata seemed to be holding her breath, and unconsciously laced her fingers with his. Hidan smirked, pulling his handgun out again with his free hand. He gently tugged her down the path, his finger ready on the trigger. After waiting a few seconds, it appeared that the coast was clear.

Just as Hidan was about to lead Hinata out of the narrow spot, another horde stumbled by out of nowhere. _Shit shit shit!_ He quickly pushed her up against the wall, pressing his body close to hers to keep her covered. The two of them seemed to be holding their breath, and Hinata brought her hands down to Hidan's waist, trembling. Hidan's hands were on her shoulders, and her breasts were squished up against his hard body sensually. Hinata's face turned a shade of red, but she dared not to utter a sound while they waited for the absent-minded crowd of zombies to go away.

Hidan glanced down at her, getting a nice view of her cleavage. It was then that he noticed how she was shaking, and he wrapped his arms around her to comfort her. Hinata looked up at him, her lavender eyes locking with his violet ones. Hidan slowly lowered his face down to hers, stopping until his was only a few centimeters away. He leaned down just a bit more, and his lips brushed up against her rosy ones. Hinata reached up and lightly touched his cheek, her delicate fingers skimming over his smooth skin softly. Hidan took that as an invitation to plant a gentle, but firm kiss on the girl's lips. He smirked when she responded to the gesture with her own soft kiss. Hinata closed her eyes, trying to suppress a quiet moan as Hidan deepened the kiss. She let out a small gasp when he slipped his tongue into her mouth, but made no move to stop him. His fingers moved to the back of her head, where they entwined with her dark, silky locks.

Hidan continued to kiss her passionately, holding onto her tight. For that moment, he didn't give a shit about the chaos that had infected the city, instead focusing on the kiss that he had been so hellbent on getting. In the back of his mind, he couldn't help but to think back to that obnoxious little brat that he'd had the pleasure of shooting not that long ago. _Haha_, _I win._

**Again, sorry for the long freaking chapter. Next chapter will focus on Itachi, Sakura, and Ino, and it will be out by the end of next week. Maybe sooner if my internet is back up and running soon. Please review and lie to me that enjoyed it! Just kidding, you can tell me it sucked all you want. Either way, I will update as soon as I can.**


	4. Chapter 4

**It took me a bit longer to finish this chapter than I was hoping for, but at least it's finally done. On that note, please read and review ^_^**

_**It's the Zombie Apocalypse, Bitch!**_

**Chapter 4**

"So, Itachi...are you single?" Ino asked as the dark-haired male led her and Sakura towards Sasori's house.

"I hardly think this is an appropriate time or place for something like that, Ino-Pig!" Sakura snapped.

Ino rolled her eyes. "I was only asking a simple question. It's not a big deal or anything. What, are you jealous?"

"Of course not!" Sakura looked rather flustered, and her cheeks were stained a light shade of red. "I'm just saying that Itachi probably doesn't want to be bothered by your stupid questions."

"Oh, lighten up," the blond said with a sigh, irritating her friend even more. "It's not a big deal. Besides, it's not like it matters anyway, since I'm positive that Sasuke-kun will ask me out once he finds out that I'm back in town."

"In your dreams," Sakura hissed.

Itachi continued on, ignoring their bantering for the most part, but tuning into the conversation every so often. Sakura definitely had the same personality from when she was a child, though more mature (to an extent). He didn't know the blond girl very well, but from what he gathered, she didn't seem to understand the seriousness of the current situation. Either that or she was just didn't care.

"Just face it, Sakura. Sasuke-kun has always liked me more than you," Ino said with a laugh. "And why shouldn't he? For one, I'm more successful than you in just about everything. Especially career-wise."

Noticing Sakura's hurt expression, Itachi decided to speak up. "Sorry to interrupt, but you mentioned that you're an actress, correct?"

"Yup," Ino replied proudly. "I'm currently one of the main characters in a popular television series."

"Do you do anything other than acting?" he inquired.

"Well, no, but who cares? Why would I want to? With this face, I'll be going places," the blond remarked haughtily.

Itachi glanced at her. "I don't mean to be rude, but what happens if you don't get much further in your career?"

"What do you mean by that?" Ino demanded as they rounded a turn.

"Well, let's say that after your television series ends, you have trouble finding another role somewhere else. It's a very common problem for many actors and actresses. In the event that you can't land a job in your field, what do you have to fall back on?" He asked.

She frowned. "Is this some kind of trick question?"

"No, Ino-Pig," Sakura mumbled as she followed Itachi. "You're just dense..."

"Shut up, I didn't ask you," the actress snapped. "But anyway, I don't think I'll have any problems landing new jobs. My agent is already in the process of setting me up with a commercial to advertise a type of medication."

The pinkette glanced at her. "Medication for what?"

"Um...I forget what it's called..." Ino mused, trying to think of the name. "It's uh...oh, Docusate! That's the name of the medicine," she added proudly, glad that she'd remembered.

Sakura suppressed a laugh, not wanting to tell Ino that Docusate was a medication used to treat constipation. "Oh, well, good luck, Ino. I hope your ad is out soon. I'm sure Sasuke-kun will be groveling at your feet when he sees you."

"No need to be bitter about it, Sakura. I can't help it if I'm talented," her friend/rival said with a sigh, as if it was an inconvenience.

Sakura shook her head, then nearly bumped into Itachi when he made an abrupt stop. "Something wrong?"

Itachi frowned at a group of zombies wandering by, all of them oblivious to their surroundings. However, one young man in the background caught his attention. "Sasuke!"

"Sasuke-kun is here!?" Ino chirped excitedly. "I knew we'd find him!"

However, Itachi and Sakura exchanged uneasy glances, and the raven-haired male wordlessly added more ammunition to his gun.

"Hey! Sasuke-kun! Come here!" The blond yelled at the younger Uchiha.

"Ino." Sakura was pale, and she swallowed a lump in her throat as she gazed at Sasuke. "Don't..."

Ino growled, clearly annoyed. "What? Why?"

It was then that Sasuke finally turned his head to look in their direction. His eyes were bloodshot and looked sunken in, twitching every so often. When he took a step, he lurched forward too much and nearly fell, almost toppling off the sidewalk.

"Sasuke-kun, I'm back in town. Aren't you excited to see me!?" The actress exclaimed, only for her mouth to be covered by one of Sakura's hands.

"Stop it," the pink-haired woman murmured, tears welling in her eyes. "Don't call to him anymore..."

Sasuke slowly trudged over to the trio, emitting a low, almost guttural growl. His clothes, which consisted of a dark blue button up and black slacks were badly torn. His entire right arm in particular was bloodied, but the rest of his outfit was damp with stains as well. A human bite wound was clearly visible on his arm, halfway between his elbow and his wrist. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had become of him.

"Don't do that!" Ino shoved Sakura's hand away, then turned her attention back to her and Sakura's mutual crush. "I've missed you so much, Sasuke-kun!"

"He doesn't understand what you're saying," Itachi finally spoke up, his voice stoic as he pointed his gun at his brother. "Sasuke's been..."

"What? Drinking too much?" The blond asked with an eye roll. "It's not that big of a deal. Let's take him with us before he gets ripped to shreds by those ugly zombies."

Sakura finally lost her temper. "He _is_ a zombie, you moron! Can't you tell!?" Tears were running down her face, unable to deny the horrible truth. It was clear that Sasuke no longer had any humane emotions as he continued to stumble over towards them, his fingertips covered in blood.

Ino blinked several times. "...What?"

"See that bite wound on his arm?" Itachi asked, watching as the younger male gradually grew closer. "He's been infected, so now he's one of them..."

"That's insane! There's no way in hell that Sasuke-kun could've possibly been turned into a zombie! He's too good-looking, and perfect, and we were supposed to get married!" Ino wailed. "I was waiting for him to propose!"

"You've never even dated, Ino-Pig!" Sakura yelled. "It kills me to say it, but there's nothing we can do to help him."

The blond gaped at the staggering Uchiha, unable to comprehend what she'd just been told. "No... I don't believe you! You're lying to me! He can't be one of them!" She added with a miserable sob.

"Unfortunately, he is," Itachi told her, trying not to lose his patience. He felt sick about what he was about to do, but he obviously had no other choice. "And like all the others, he needs to be taken down."

Ino looked at him nervously. "What do you mean by-"

Before she could finish her sentence, Itachi fired off a single round, sending a bullet straight into Sasuke's head. It went between his eyes, causing him to groan and pitch forward. He fell facedown on the pavement, his body twitching as he tried to get up. Now sobbing loudly, Ino tried to run over towards Sasuke, only for Sakura to restrain her. The pinkette was also crying, though she had enough sense to let Itachi do what needed to be done.

Stalking over to his fallen brother, Itachi looked down at Sasuke with a pained expression on his face. "Sorry, Sasuke." With that, he shot him one more time in the back of his head._ That's for stealing my dinosaur toy when we were kids..._

"NOOOOO! SASUKE-KUUUUUUN!" Ino screamed, hyperventilating uncontrollably as she glared at Itachi. "YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLED YOUR OWN BROTHER!"

"Knock it off!" Sakura smacked her across the face. "We need to get out of here before we get caught up in a horde."

Ino shook her head vehemently, whipping herself in the face with her own ponytail as Itachi rejoined them. "NO! I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY SASUKE-KUUUUN!" She suddenly sprinted over towards Sasuke's body in the middle of the road. "SASUKE-KUUUN!"

"Ino, don't!" Sakura exclaimed, feeling Itachi's arms wrap around her from behind to keep her from chasing after her.

Before the blond could reach Sasuke's unmoving body, she was unexpectedly hit by an ice cream truck. The truck drove into a fire hydrant, then proceeded to crash into a nearby building with Ino still stuck on the hood of the vehicle.

Sakura screamed, only for Itachi to spin her around and pressed her against his chest. He watched with shock as a zombie fell out of the driver's seat of the ice cream truck, faceplanting onto the ground. Two more zombies crawled out through the pick-up window, and Sakura recognized one of them as one of Ino's old friends, Chouji. He was covered with ice cream, rather than blood like the other zombies. Instead of attacking anyone, he simply continued to chew on the still-wrapped ice cream cone in his hand.

The pink-haired woman cried in Itachi's chest, while the Uchiha looked at the body of his deceased brother. With a sigh, he held Sakura tighter, then glanced pityingly at the damage from the ice cream truck accident. He could already tell that Ino hadn't survived that, and even if she had, she'd be wedged between the truck and the damn building. Itachi's lips brushed up against Sakura's forehead, gently stroking her silky locks as he pulled her closer.

Sakura tearfully looked up at him, her green eyes filled with despair. She clung to him even harder, her body shaking as she tried to stop her sobs. Unable to stop himself, Itachi leaned down and pressed his lips against hers, his hand cupping her damp cheek. The young woman wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss as she did so. When they finally parted due to lack of oxygen, and the fact that they hadn't chosen a very convenient place to make out, Itachi wiped her cheek with his thumb. Sakura gazed up at his handsome face, swallowing the lump in her throat. She wanted to say something, but was at a loss for words. Instead, she smoothed down her dress and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"We should get out of here," Itachi murmured softly. "Sasori's is only another ten minutes away or so."

Sakura sniffled and nodded slightly, trying to wipe her face. She'd not only witnessed the death of crush, but her best friend/rival get hit by a freaking ice cream truck. However, she remembered that Itachi was the one who had to shoot his brother in the head. That must've been traumatizing for the poor guy.

"I'm sorry you had to see all that," Itachi said as he dragged Sakura away from the site. "I know how much you liked Sasuke..."

"I did...but it had to be done," she replied solemnly. "Sorry you had to kill him."

"He was already dead." He led her down a narrow area between two buildings, noting that almost everyone out in the streets had been turned into zombies. It was getting worse.

"I can't believe Ino thought he was his usual self," the pinkette said with a wry laugh. "I mean...really?"

Itachi smirked slightly, unable to restrain himself from saying what was on his mind. "To be fair, he wasn't acting much different than usual. He just happened to be much clumsier and brainless this time around."

"You make a valid point." Sakura added, unable to stifle the small laugh that escaped.

"Before he turned into one of them, Sasuke wanted everyone on the planet to leave him alone. Even as a zombie...he still hated everyone. Damn counselors never got him to quit acting like such an anti-social little brat," Itachi added, before pausing for a moment. "I wonder how Hidan is doing with your friends. Hopefully they'll already be at Sasori's by the time we get there."

He shot several rounds into a horde that wandered out nearby, taking out at least eight zombies. Suddenly not wanting to go unarmed, Sakura picked up a metal pole that was about two feet long. She didn't know how to shoot a gun, but she sure as hell knew how to beat someone upside the head.

"Okay, we're going to run through the next area as quickly as we can. The zombies aren't very fast, so they won't be able to catch up with us. Just don't let them touch you," Itachi advised. "But I'll do my best to protect you, regardless. I don't want to see anything happen to you, too."

Sakura blushed lightly, unsure of how to respond. However, Itachi didn't seem to expect an answer as he led her through the zombie-infested spot. He fired off several rounds to clear a path, while Sakura swung the pipe at any that got too close for comfort. 'Too close for comfort' was anything within ten feet.

"Take that, bitches!" she exclaimed, smacking one right in the head and driving it into a brick wall.

Itachi smirked slightly, amused by her attitude. He continued to shoot at the horde that mindlessly wandered about, making sure to keep them from getting caught. The next few minutes seemed to go by quick as he and Sakura relentlessly made their way through the infected city. By the time they were only about five minutes away from Sasori's house, there was not a single person around who wasn't a zombie. Whether they had all evacuated or been turned into zombies, it didn't seem to matter now.

Realizing that he was getting low on ammo, Itachi led Sakura to one building in particular that was close by. He remembered that one of his old friends had left some ammunition there awhile back, and he hoped that it was still there. It was locked, and he would have to pick it in order to get them inside.

"Can you cover me long enough for me to open the door?" he asked Sakura.

She nodded, the pole held tight in her hand threateningly. "Yeah."

While he went to work, the pinkette made sure to stave off the few zombies that had decided to stumble over to them. She beat each and everyone senseless, though in all reality, none of them had any sense to begin with.

After about thirty seconds, Itachi had successfully picked the lock. He grabbed hold of Sakura's arm and dragged her into the building with him, locking it behind them. They would be safe for a few minutes, but then it would be time to go after that. He led her up a staircase, coming up to a door that was slightly ajar.

"This should've been closed," he mused.

After exchanging glances with Sakura, Itachi kicked the door open and the two of them rushed into the room. Hidan immediately straightened up and grabbed one of the guns from his belt, aiming it at the couple in surprise. Not only was the silver-haired male shirtless, but he was hovering over Hinata, whom was practically lying on a table. The girl's blouse had been unbuttoned, revealing a white lacy bra.

"Oh, it's just you two," Hidan deadpanned, tucking his gun back into his belt.

Hinata sat up slightly, attempting to button up her blouse as her face turned bright red. However, Hidan gently pushed her back down and pressed his lips against hers.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sakura snapped, entering the room.

Hidan broke the kiss long enough to give the pinkette a stoic answer. "Pretty sure I'm making out with your friend right here."

"Now!? In the middle of all this craziness!?" she exclaimed as Hidan resumed his kiss with Hinata.

Hidan nuzzled Hinata's neck, still leaning over her. "Well, we got fucking ambushed and had to hide here for now. And I promised Hinata that I'd protect her."

"I hardly think that pinning the poor girl onto a freaking table counts," Sakura scoffed, though she looked slightly amused.

The silver-haired male growled, getting off of Hinata and helping her up. With an embarrassed squeak, Hinata turned her back to Sakura and Itachi to quickly button up her blouse. Hidan gathered his shirt off the floor, lazily shrugging it on without bothering with any of the buttons.

"Where's that blond bitch?" he asked with a quizzical look.

Sakura said nothing, but the somber look on her face was enough to clue them in. Regardless, Itachi provided them with a brief answer to eliminate any doubts.

"She's dead," he told them. "Same with my brother."

Hinata's eyes widened and she looked at the Uchiha with sympathy. "Sasuke's gone, too? I'm sorry..." She went over to Sakura to give her a comforting hug.

"Where's Kiba?" Sakura asked, trying not to break down in tears again.

Hinata stiffened slightly, hugging her friend tighter as she was overcome with grief. "Kiba is...gone," she said, trying to find the right words. "He was turned into one of them..."

"So was Sasuke-kun," Sakura added, returning the embrace.

"I'm assuming that the blond bitch turned into a fucking zombie, as well?" Hidan chimed in, making sure that each of his guns were loaded.

Itachi found the box of ammunition that Kisame had stowed away about a year ago, and began to rifle through its contents. "Actually, she got hit by an ice cream truck."

Hidan was unable to keep himself from bursting into laughter. "Are you fucking kidding me!? An ice cream truck!? Wow, that's fucking hilarious."

"It's not funny!" Sakura hissed, breaking the hug. "It was horrible! She rolled up onto the hood and everything!"

"Fuck, I wish I could've been there," he replied with a snicker.

"The worst part was that a zombie was driving it," Itachi added.

Hidan looked at him blankly, snorted, and then began to laugh all over again. "You didn't happen to film it or anything, did you?"

"Of course not!" Sakura exclaimed. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

He shrugged indifferently. "Don't know. Not even my psychiatrist knows for sure."

"You're unbelievable," she muttered in response.

"You act as though I'm insane or something," Hidan said carelessly with an exasperated eye roll.

Itachi finished gathering the ammo he needed, then pushed the box aside. "We should get going soon. Sasori's house is only five minutes away from here."

"I swear, if that motherfucker isn't home, I'm going to be severely pissed," Hidan grumbled.

"Sasori doesn't leave his house very much. If anything, he's got the whole place rigged with traps in case any of those zombies manage to break in." Itachi looked around the room one last time to make sure he didn't need anything else.

"Wouldn't fucking surprise me, to tell you the truth," the silver-haired male said with a sigh as he made his way to the door. "Alright, let's fucking go already."

The four of them carefully made their way down the steps with Hidan leading the way. His shotgun was aimed out in front of him, ready to shoot anything that got in his way. Hinata was behind him, followed by Sakura. Itachi took the rear, wanting to keep the young women as safe as possible.

By the time they'd gone outside again, the entire area was in complete chaos. There were several dozen zombies stumbling around aimlessly, all of them looking grotesque and covered with blood. Fires had broken out, and there were a few cars that had been crashed into various buildings and trees.

"Oh, my god..." Sakura murmured.

"This is going to be fucking fun." Hidan grinned sadistically as he surveyed his many potential targets.

Itachi sighed. "Don't get too excited. We need to make sure there's enough ammo to get us to Sasori's. Only shoot those who are in your way."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Hidan muttered in a bored tone of voice. "But if you really think about it, all of them might get in my way..."

**And that wraps up this (somewhat maybe) exciting chapter. Only one more chapter left to go! Added in a bit more ItaSaku than originally planned since I like them together and everyone deserves to be happy in the event of the world becoming overrun by zombies (except for Sasuke, Kiba, and Ino apparently). Next chapter will be out in less than a week hopefully. Please review and stay tuned for the exciting finale of this stupid story!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ugh, this week has been soooo freaking looonnnggg... Dealing with the infinitely stupid customers at my work is slowly chipping away at that last sliver of sanity that I've been desperately clinging on to. Then again, getting my own padded suite in the nearest mental hospital sounds pretty tempting. Anyway, despite the annoyingness that never ceases to end, I managed to finish up the final chapter of this story. So without further rambling on my part, please enjoy the chapter and leave me a review. Or send me a potato launcher since my work prohibits bringing guns with us.**

_**It's the Zombie Apocalypse, Bitch!**_

**Chapter 5**

"We're only about three minutes away from Sasori's," Itachi told the group as they headed down the road.

"Good. I'm running low on fucking ammo already," Hidan replied with an irritated tone.

The four of them hurried through the streets, rushing past the damaged buildings and cars. By now, not a single human remained other than themselves, and the area seemed to be infested with a moderate amount of zombies. While Hidan and Itachi shot at the zombies, Sakura hit them with the metal pole that she'd armed herself with. Hinata was without a proper weapon, as she couldn't very well use a sniper rifle as they ran. Instead, she noticed a large knife in Hidan's belt, which he had stolen from one of the broken-in stores they had passed. Hidan turned his head just in time to see the girl slice the blade upwards, slashing open one of the zombie's throat as she ran by him. Although getting his throat slit wouldn't stop him completely, he would definitely be slowed down enough for them to get away.

Meanwhile, Itachi watched as Sakura hit one of the zombies in the head hard enough to send it flying backwards. Both men couldn't deny that women who kicked zombie ass were hot.

Sakura flashed a smile at Itachi, a light splatter of blood on her face. Itachi returned the smile as he ran alongside of her. However, there was a loud revving sound, and Itachi glanced over his shoulder to see a zombie riding on a moped heading straight towards the pinkette. Reacting quickly, he tackled her forward, sending them both on the ground as he pushed her out of the way.

Hinata's eyes widened and she rushed over to them as the zombie sped off and crashed into a tree. "Sakura! Are you okay?"

Sakura didn't seem to hear the answer, as her green eyes were locked with Itachi's dark ones. The raven-haired male was lying on top of her, his face only centimeters away from hers. Their gazes held for several seconds, and both of them were oblivious to Hidan's awkward coughs. Itachi lowered his lips to hers ever-so-softly, planting a gentle kiss on her lips.

While Hinata smiled at the couple, Hidan rolled his eyes. "Hey, I don't mean to interrupt or anything, but you might want to move before a bus comes along and runs your asses over. And by the way, why the fuck did I get bitched at when I was going at with Hinata? Fucking hypocrites..."

As if on cue, a school bus swerved around the corner, causing the four to sweat-drop at the coincidence. Cursing quietly to himself, Itachi quickly swept Sakura into his arms and got them out of harm's way while Hidan pulled Hinata away from the crazily-driven vehicle. It was being driven by zombie of course, and the seats were filled with more zombies, clawing and scratching at each other, as well as playing with musical instruments that had been left on the bus.

"At least it wasn't an ice cream truck," Itachi murmured as he set Sakura down.

"A bus full of music-playing zombies isn't that much of an improvement, though," the pink-haired woman added with a small laugh.

Hidan looked over at the other male. "Hey, Itachi. Isn't that your asshole boss over there? Danzo or something?"

Itachi turned his head to see a zombie-turned Danzo ambling around across the way, his suit splattered and stained with blood. An uncharacteristic malicious glint found its way in Itachi's eyes. "It's like my dreams finally came true."

With an amused smirk, Hidan watched as Itachi stalked over to an oblivious Danzo, while Sakura and Hinata exchanged quizzical looks. Itachi didn't seem like the type to hold grudges, but he apparently hated his boss to the point where he'd gladly shoot the bastard down. Seemed legit, considering many people hated their bosses.

"This is for all the freaking times that you gave me last minute projects, AND then had the balls to take all the credit for it! Well, this is payback bitch!" With a shaky hand, Itachi pointed his gun at Danzo, who gave a low grumble at his employee. "What did you say!?" Itachi's eye twitched slightly.

"F...Fu...ck...yyyu..." Danzo mumbled unintelligibly. "Fuuuu...ccck...you... Fuckyou..."

In his fit of rage, Itachi's face turned slightly red with fury. "Fuck you! And fuck you for stealing my favorite pen the last time you came to my office! It had a light on the end of it!" With that he fired several shots at Danzo, emptying his clip furiously. "That'll teach ya!"

Hidan laughed, enjoying the show, while Sakura gaped at the sight. Hinata merely poked her fingers together nervously, keeping silent. Once Danzo's bullet-filled body collapsed onto the ground, Itachi returned to the group, calmly reloading his empty gun.

"Alright, let's get going," he said, as if nothing strange had just happened. "We should get out of here before we're completely surrounded."

"Too late," Hidan pointed out, gesturing to the horde that began to close in on them.

Oh, fuck me..." Hinata deadpanned. The other three looked at her in shock, surprised that she'd actually sworn.

Hidan smirked. "Literally?"

"I'm pretty sure that wasn't an invitation!" Sakura snapped, giving him firm tap on the head with the metal pole.

"OW! That was fucking uncalled for, bitch!" he hissed, rubbing the sore spot. "It's okay for you and Itachi to dry-hump in the middle of the road, but I can't even make a fucking comment?"

"Shut up and run!" Itachi exclaimed, nodding towards the one opening they had before being closed within the circle of zombies completely.

They all took off into a sprint, running as fast as they could to get away. Hidan and Itachi shot only the ones that were directly in their path, knowing that if they stopped for too long they'd be done for. Sakura hit a few of the zombies with the pole, smacking them out of the way. Hidan didn't notice one particular zombie coming up to his right, instead focusing on another to his left. With a wave of panic, Hinata grabbed one of the handguns from the back of Hidan's belt and shot the zombie directly in the face just as he was about to sink his teeth into the silver-haired male's shoulder.

"Damn," Hidan mumbled. "Maybe you should hang onto that..."

"Was the safety even on?" Itachi asked Hinata as they continued their sprint to Sasori's house. "Because it looked like you just grabbed it and pulled the trigger."

"N-No, it was off," she stammered.

"Oops," Hidan said under his breath, avoiding Itachi's critical stare.

"You know, if that had accidentally gone off while it was still in your belt, you would've received a nice bullet hole in your rear end for your troubles," the Uchiha lectured.

Hidan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. At least now I know that Hinata can handle different types of guns without a problem," he added with a suggestive grin that caused the indigo-haired girl to blush all over again.

"You're such a pervert," Sakura grumbled, hitting another zombie in the head.

"Guilty as charged," he replied carelessly.

Sasori's house finally came into view, much to their relief. Their ammunition supply had run dangerously low for one thing, and the number of zombies in the area was astounding. Everyone else had either evacuated from the city or had been turned into zombies.

"That fucker better be home or I'm gonna be pissed," Hidan hissed as they sprinted towards it.

"Aren't you already?" Sakura quipped, panting slightly from the constant running.

The silver-haired male snorted. "Fine, I'll be even _more_ pissed. Happy?"

"Not really," she responded stoically.

They reached the house, with Hidan furiously banging on the door after he discovered it to be locked. "Hey! Sasori, open the fucking door!"

"Come on," Itachi muttered, knocking hard as well. "Please answer the door."

Hinata shot at a few zombies coming their way, only for the gun to run out of ammunition. She quickly grabbed a second handgun from Hidan's belt and began to use that one instead. "Hidan, I can't hold them all off for long," she nervously told him.

"Shit." Hidan grabbed his shotgun and began to fend off the oncoming horde, his door-banging job now handed over to Sakura. "Dammit, Sasori! Open the fucking door already! C'mon!"

Seconds later, the lock disengaged, earning a sigh of relief from Itachi and Sakura. Sasori opened the door, gesturing for them to hurry into the house. Itachi and Sakura bolted inside, followed by Hidan and Hinata. The red-haired homeowner quickly bolted the door shut, using at least a half dozen locks in the process.

"Can never be too safe," he murmured with a bored expression. "So, what brings you guys here?"

"Oh, you know, we just wanted to pop in and say 'hi'," Hidan remarked sarcastically.

Sasori glanced at him carelessly as he led them to the kitchen. "No need to be a smartass, Hidan. Though I must admit, it's better than your usual routine of being a dumbass."

"Fuck off."

"Sasori, we came here because you took the Hummer last week to make repairs on it. We need it in order to evacuate from the city," Itachi explained.

Deidara was seated at the kitchen table, a bottle of beer clutched in his hand. "Yo." A dreamy smile was on his face, and it was clear that he wasn't on his first beer. Or second. "Hey, who are the pretty ladies, un? A schoolgirl and a nurse...that's hot, un..."

"Back off," Hidan growled, possesively wrapping an arm around Hinata's shoulders. "Schoolgirl is mine and Nurse is Itachi's. Even though she's technically still just a med student."

"Shut up," Sakura snapped, throwing an evil glare in his direction. "Just wait until you come into the hospital where I work, and then you won't be so smug."

"I don't go to fucking hospitals," he replied dryly.

Itachi sighed. "So anyway, do you have that Hummer? Has it been fixed?"

"Ask the moron over there," Sasori sighed, casting an annoyed glance at the 'buzzed' blond.

"Oh, great. What the fuck did you do?" Hidan demanded angrily.

Deidara slunk down in his seat. "Um...well...you see..."

"He decided that he wanted to put jet fuel into the gas tank," Sasori told them with a calm yet irritated tone of voice. "So in the end, the damn Hummer exploded. Not even five minutes after I had finished with all the repairs."

"WHAT!?" Hidan grabbed Deidara by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the wall, his face red with fury. "You blew up the fucking Hummer!? What the fuck is wrong with you!? Idiot!"

"It was an accident, un," Deidara replied meekly, looking ashamed.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "No, you're just an imbecile. When I told you that the jet fuel wouldn't make the Hummer fly due to the fact that the vehicle lacked wings, you put it in the tank to see if it would make it go faster."

"I should kill you," Hidan hissed at Deidara, his violet eyes narrowing.

Hinata wrapped her arms around his waist and tried to pry him away from the frightened blond male. "Now's not a convenient time to kill him, Hidan. Maybe later." _If we make it out alive..._

"I'm surprised that the zombies haven't made it to my house sooner," Sasori remarked, though not an ounce of surprise was visible on his stoic face.

"Why haven't you already left Tokyo?" Itachi asked him, frowning when he noticed as the house was gradually surrounded by the undead swarm outside.

The redhead shrugged briefly. "Why bother? There's nowhere to go. Even if I did have the Hummer, there's too many zombies out there and too much damage to the road for us to be able to evacuate."

"So we're just going to die here?" Sakura gasped, shocked at his lack of care.

"More or less," he answered.

Hinata looked around in worry, her eyes widening when she heard the sound of glass shattering. "They're breaking in. Isn't there anywhere we can go at all?"

"Roof! The roof!" Deidara stumbled a bit, clumsily heading towards the staircase in the hall. "They won't get us as quickly."

"Motherfucker," Hidan muttered as he and the others followed him. "We're taking advice from a drunk guy. It's like the blind leading the blind..."

Itachi glanced at him. "Best advice we can work with right now, considering that there's no other way out. But once we're on the roof, we'll be trapped. All we can do is hope that we can fend them off while we can."

"And I am not drunk, un. Just a little buzzed," Deidara added, tripping on the last step.

Once they'd reached the second floor, Sasori pulled down the ladder that brought them up to the attic. The six of them hurridly climbed the ladder and made it into the attic.

"Let's try to break the fucking thing so that they can't climb it." Hidan knelt down, only to groan in dismay. "Fuck, it's made out of metal. And we can't pull the damn thing up from this angle. There's no way to fucking reach it."

"Forget it, there's nothing we can do about it. Let's just get up onto the roof," Itachi growled.

Sasori opened one of the large windows and stepped up onto the window sill. "Just walk along the ledge that leads outside and then grab onto the ladder that Deidara had installed in the event of a zombie apocalyspe."

"And you all called me an idiot! Now who's the idiot, un!?" Deidara laughed manically as he hopped up onto the ledge also.

Hidan and Itachi exchanged glances, annoyed that the blond pyromaniac had been right about his crazy idea. Sasori made it to the roof first, then had to pull Deidara up when he almost toppled off the ladder. His bumbling stupidity earned him a smack upside the head. Itachi followed them up, then turned around to help Sakura up.

"Fuck, they're coming!" Hidan grabbed Hinata's wrist and tugged her up onto the window sill with him just as the first zombie reared his ugly head up into the attic. "Shit shit shit!"

They moved swiftly along the ledge to get to the ladder, just as that same zombie tripped and fell head-first out the window. His body hit the ground several feet below, where he lay unmoving for a good five seconds before clumsily pulling himself back up. Hidan quickly climbed up the ladder first, since he was closer, reaching the top seconds later. Hinata was already heading up herself, and she grabbed hold of his hand when he offered it to her. He pulled her up, swearing when a woman began to walk across the ledge. To everyone's horror, she didn't fall off as they had hoped.

"What the fuck? All the other fuckers had no friggin coordination, so how come this bitch isn't falling?" Hidan snarled, then slammed his foot down into her face to make her fall.

"Guess not all of them are completely hopeless," Sasori mused.

"Um, that's not a good thing," Sakura deadpanned.

"Never said that it was," he replied.

Like the ladder in the attic, the one that led to the roof was also metal and bolted to the side of the building. So not only were they trapped on the rooftop, but the zombies had an accessible way to reach them. Hidan pointed his shotgun over the edge and began to blast away at them, cursing when he ran out of ammo. He swore even louder when he realized that he had no shotgun shells left. He took the two remaining handguns and emptied those also as the others watched nervously. Itachi and Hinata shot at the zombies as well, though they had run out of ammunition soon after as well.

"Fuck," Hidan hissed, chucking one of the empty handguns at a zombie's head to knock it off the ledge. "The fuck are we supposed to do now!?"

"Well...it was nice knowing you guys, I suppose. Probably should've left us six bullets so that we could've finished ourselves off," Sasori remarked.

Itachi took the pole from Sakura and began to physically beat the zombies that had begun to climb up the ladder. "We weren't exactly keeping a count of what bullets we had left..."

"What are we going to do?" The pinkette swallowed nervously. "We can't fend them off forever."

"It's simple," Deidara said calmly. "We're just all going to die and/or be turned into zombies. Unless they decide to just eat us, of course."

Itachi paused long enough to glare at him. "Shut up. You're not helping the situation."

"Wait, listen," Hinata suddenly spoke up, catching everyone's attention. "Do you guys hear that?"

"Hear what?" Hidan asked, looking around.

The indigo-haired girl was quiet for a moment, trying to figure out the sound that she was hearing. "It sounds like...a helicopter," she breathed, her eyes widening. "I see it! It's heading this way!"

"Quick, flag them down!" Sakura exclaimed, looking around for something to get the pilot's attention.

"Wait! I...I got this, un..." Deidara pulled his shirt off and began to wave it around frantically. "Heeeey! Helicopteeeer! Ooooveeerrrr heeeeerrreee!"

Hidan sighed and shook his head. "And this is why people like you shouldn't drink."

Deidara looked at Hinata and Sakura. "Maybe the pilot will notice us if they see some boobs, un..." That earned him a smack from Sakura, Hidan, and Itachi. "Owww... What'd I say?"

Sasori picked up a firecracker that had fallen out of Deidara's shirt pocket. He lit the end of it as Hidan and Itachi continued to pummel the oncoming zombies that were trying to climb onto the roof. The fire cracker went off, signaling their presence. To everyone's relief, the helicopter began to fly towards them.

"Oh, thank god," Sakura gasped.

Seconds later, their means of rescue hovered several feet above the rooftop and a rope ladder was thrown down to them.

"Grab on!" A red-haired man with several piercings yelled down to them. "Hurry!"

Sasori went up first, followed by a smiling Deidara, whom had decided to throw his shirt in one zombie's face. "Thank you to all my fans, un!"

"Get up, you idiot," Sasori hissed, dragging the intoxicated blond up when he began to swing around on the ladder as if it were a plaything.

Sakura went up next, and Itachi couldn't help but take a look up her skirt. He turned a light shade of red when he noticed Hidan's knowing grin and immediately stopped his staring.

"There's not much room, so you'll have to squeeze together," Pein told them as Hidan went up next. Besides him, there as a blue-haired woman and a man with a swirl design mask.

"Oh, joy," he replied sarcastically.

Hinata and Itachi quickly climbed up as well, and it was then that they noticed that there were only three seats for the six of them to share. Hidan took it upon himself to plunk his ass down on one of the seats and pull Hinata down onto his lap. Itachi followed suit, grabbing hold of Sakura and placing her on his lap.

For the first time, Sasori's face showed a hint of emotion, and it was not pleasant. "If you think I'm sharing a seat with this idiot, you are sadly mistaken," he growled, motioning towards Deidara.

"Hi," the blond replied with a goofy smile on his face, draped over the remaining seat.

"I'll just sit on the floor," Sasori mumbled as Pein ascended the helicopter and flew away from the house.

"We're finally safe," Sakura said with a sigh of relief. "I thought we were screwed..."

Hinata nodded in agreement, her head against Hidan's chest. "Me, too."

"We're lucky that you guys came along," Itachi said to Pein, his arm around Sakura's waist. "Thank you."

"By the way, how the fuck did this whole thing start anyway?" Hidan asked, gazing out the window with a frown.

Pein's ringed purple eyes narrowed a bit. "Why don't you ask this one right here?" He gave a brief nod at the masked man, whom had remained silent so far.

"Hehehe, you see, it's a long story," the masked man said sheepishly.

"Tobi, you pushed the big red button, even though it clearly said 'DO NOT TOUCH'. You're lucky that Konan and I brought you along with us," Pein added with a harsh tone. "We could've just left you."

Hidan gaped at Tobi. "So you mean to tell me that this whole fucking thing is your fault?" He shifted Hinata slightly to hold her better as she began to doze off in his arms. "Eh, then again, the world was going to shit anyway. You kind of just sped up the fucking process."

"Don't you worry, guys! I have a great idea for us now that the world has been overrun by zombies!" Tobi announced.

"You mean the entire world has been infected?" Itachi asked.

"More or less," Konan sighed. "We aren't the only survivors, though. There are others that we will eventually meet up with."

Tobi stood up, ignoring the protests from Pein and Konan. "And then we'll start a new nation, and it shall be called Utobia!"

"Utobia?" Hidan sweatdropped. "You're fucking kidding, right?"

"I like it, un!" Deidara stated.

"Nobody asked for your opinion," the silver-haired man growled. "I'm fucking surrounded by morons..."

"Will everything be okay?" Sakura asked with worry.

Konan shrugged slightly. "As well as it could be in the event of a zombie apocalypse."

"Yay! Real life Resident Evil, un!" Deidara exclaimed.

"No, not 'yay', you stupid bastard," Sasori hissed, getting more and more annoyed.

"But now that the world has gone to complete shit, what do we do now?" Hidan asked.

Pein ascended the helicopter even higher. "As Tobi said, we are heading towards an area that has so far been deemed as safe. There is food and ammunition, as well as other items we will need to survive this. The area may be quarantined off and gated to keep those who've been infected out. That's the first step at least. But it's not going to be called Utobia," he added.

"At least we got away," Sakura murmured, snuggling against Itachi. "I wonder if any of our friends made it out okay."

"At this point, all we can do is look out for each other and anyone else who is left," Konan told them.

"We now live in a world that is overrun by zombies! It feels like I'm starring in my own action movie!" Tobi declared happily.

Hidan snorted. "If this was a fucking movie, you'd be the first one to die. Especially since you're the whole reason why this damn outbreak started in the first place. I should kill you myself."

"At least I don't have to go to the office tomorrow," Itachi mused. "Works for me."

"And look at all the happy couples!" Tobi pointed out. "Pein and Konan are destined to be together!" The redhead and blunette exchanged glances, their faces slightly blushed. "I don't know you six that well, but I can tell that you're all happily in love!"

"Now hold on a minute. What do you mean by that?" Sasori raised an eyebrow. "Are you implying that _all_ of us are dating one another?"

Tobi laughed. "Well, obviously! The guy in the suit and the nurse are clearly together. Same with the cute schoolgirl and that guy right there who wants to kill me. I can tell that you and your slightly drunk boyfriend are in love as well." He gestured to Deidara.

For the first time ever, Sasori displayed an acute fit of rage. "WHAAAT!? I'M NOT WITH THAT IDIOT RIGHT THERE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

"I love you too, man!" Deidara proclaimed with a hiccup.

"SHUT UP! NO, THIS IS INSANE! WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!" The redhead stated/yelled.

While he continued to fume and deny any existence of a romantic relationship between himself and Deidara, Hinata looked up at Hidan shyly. He was watching with amusement, a smirk on his face. Hinata hesitated for a moment, then reached up to touch his cheek. Hidan looked down at her, his violet eyes locking with her lavender ones. With a light blush on her face, Hinata leaned up to plant a soft kiss on his lips, only for Hidan to respond with a deeper kiss. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she felt his fingers entangle in her hair.

Itachi and Sakura soon followed suit, displaying their own passionate kiss. Sasori shoved Deidara away when the blond attempted to give him a hug, nearly pushing him out of the helicopter in the process.

"Please, no shoving, no jumping, and no fornication in my helicopter," Pein said monotonely.

"Now...off to Utobia!" Tobi exclaimed.

"IT'S NOT UTOBIA!" Everyone retorted angrily.

**And that concludes our insanely random end-of-the-world-zombie-apocalypse story! It's always enjoyable to make weird ass stories like this with a lot of random comical crap. Does that appear to make me less-than mentally stable? Perhaps... Or maybe it just means I'm eccentric! Like Einstein! As in Joe Einstein, my friend's delusional uncle who insists that he once delivered pizza to Whitey Bulger. But anyway, moving forward, I hope you found this fic to be amusing, so please let me know if you liked it. In a week or so I'll go through that whole phase where I think this is the worst story I've ever written after convincing myself that this was a flawless masterpiece that Shakespeare would be proud of! Shakespeare is my sister's pet rock. There are some tough critics out there, and he is one of them. I will be posting a bloody, violent one-shot soon to change up the whole comedy phase. But then I'll be working on my newest multi-chapter story soon after. Stay tuned for the next story, as well the memoirs of my latest visit to my closest friend, AKA my psychiatrist!**


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